Poetry Scatterings Found “Along the Way”

“The Mind”

The mind is ever a tourist  …

Wanting, touching, buying new things,

Then tossing them into an already over-filled closet.

“The Sun”

The sun will stand as your “best man” and whistle

When You find the Courage to marry Forgiveness and Love.

“The Moon and the Planets”

The moon starts singing

when everyone is asleep.

And the planets throw a bright robe around their shoulders

and whirl up

Close to her side.

“The Stars”

The stars got poured into the sky

Out of a Magician’s Hat last night.

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Parental Concern:When children seek negative attention!

duckChildren thrive on attention.  If they are not receiving enough positive attention, they will work on getting negative attention.  This can be due to several factors, such as: they don’t feel noticed for the positive things they are doing or for just “being themselves”.  Therefore they resort to making an impact to get your full attention, even if that means that they will be shouted at or bawled out!  They succeeded in their need to be seen.

Research shows that the problem with giving more than twenty seconds of negative attention is that after a short period of time, the child’s negative behavior INCREASES, rather than DECREASES. A habit has been created!

Here’s where “parenting skill #2” enters:  Give Encouragement, pay positive attention, and positively reinforce what your child is doing well!  In the long run it takes less time and less emotional energy to give the  positive attention that the child truly craves (desires).

Make sure, your praise is genuine and believable to the child.  Look closely to see what you can positively reinforce and don’t give much attention to the negative behavior.

Here’s where a “thinking time” or a quiet area in your home…sometimes called a Peace Tent does its magic.  Instead of lecturing and giving a certain amount of negative attention, when the child or teen does something that would normally elicit negative attention, instead tell them in a neutral voice to take some space to think about another way they could have handled the situation (5 minutes for a small child, perhaps 10 minutes for a teen).

Create the habit of giving them the attention they are seeking only for their positive behavior and giving them alone time to think about a better way of behaving when they hit, grab,  yell, or use offensive language.

Let the transformation begin!!!

Parent Concern: “I don’t have enough time to play with my child.”

child with toy

                                           “Play is the work of the Child”

Did you realize that “playing with your child” is an important parenting skill?  Yes, it can be hard to find time in this busy world for play, but ask yourself these revealing questions to help you realize the importance of finding some time every day to play with your children.

  • Why did I want to have children in the first place?
  • Why do I love them?
  • What do I wish I had done more of over the past few years?
  • What did I wish my parents made more time with for me?

 

For parents of infants through four-year-olds, “time to cuddle, hold, play, and attend to the child is invaluable for the child to thrive.  Play is the child’s opportunity to experience freedom, joy, and self-expression.”  It is a time when children can feel full of themselves.  children work out their feelings in play, and if there have been traumatic experiences, play is healing.  When you play with your child it creates a loving and close bond.  So enter into their world.  Join their world of pretend.  When your child structures a game and is enjoying it, do not make it harder, so he or she is not successful.  SImply be accepting, reflecting, and enjoying.” (Diane Tillman, Living Values, Parent Groups, a Facilitator’s Guide,p 59)

For parents of five to nine-year olds ask yourself: what do I enjoy doing myself that I can do with my child?  What would be fun for both myself and my child?  Playing every day, even for only fifteen minutes guarantees your child gets the “us time” of full attention and close eye contact which builds cooperation and love.  Within this bond, minor negativities will simply disappear.  Play pretend games, play outside, play with balls and dolls.  Don’t get competitive, instead model graceful winning and losing.  Winning a game about one third of the time is fine.  Us Time can also be a time of just listening with your full attention.  Use daily routine time to interact with your children, such as driving or walking to the store, while washing the dishes or setting the table. (Tillman, p 60)

For parents of ten to eighteen-year olds finding quality time every day to be with your children is basic to having a succesful relationship with them.  It is said that a thirteen-year old needs as much attention as a five-year-old.  Stopping what you are doing to really be there will make such a difference, even for fifteen minutes a day.  Consistence of love and regard each day builds a safety net for helping them to feel better abut themselves and help both of you to navigate the teen years more smoothly. (Tillman, p 61)

Have fun building this number one parenting skill into your life with your children each and every day!  It is a priority, isn’t it?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Goals and Goal-Setting Create A Powerful Script for Your Life

 

Setting goals works.  Writing them down works even better.  And accountability insures that you stay on track til you’ve reached your goal.

Flying with the Owls  This builds self-respect and overcomes poor habits that tend to come from unconscious beliefs such as “I don’t deserve to achieve”, “I’d rather procrastinate than test myself, because I’m afraid of failure and I’m afraid of success”, or just simply “I can’t”.  These are markers of unwillingness.  So ask yourself am I willing to set a goal, create an action plan, and ask for accountability?  If so you are on your way to something new.  No matter what the result, if you stick to this plan, you are going to learn something NEW about yourself.

Research on goal-setting at Dominican University, California, done by Gail Matthews indicated that folks who write down their goals, create action plans, and track their progress accomplish significantly more goals than people who just think of them.  She also learned that the 3 most important elements for successful goal-setting are accountability, commitment, and writing down goals.

Have you heard the phrase “good goals are SMART?  SMART is an acronym that stands for:

  • S = Specific:  Describe your goal clearly and concisely.  Don’t be vague or wishy washy about the outcome you wish to achieve.
  • M = Measureable:  Develop a tangible way to measure your progress.  For example you can’t measure kindness, but you can measure:  I will say something uplifting to each person I encounter today and for the next 21 days.  Not only is this measureable, it is also a great way to instill a new behavior.
  • A = Attainable: Make sure your goals and action plan are manageable and align with your skills, resources, and interests, if not your passion!
  • R = Relevant:  Is your goal relevant to you?  Is it something you value, based on your principles and related to the bigger picture of your life?  A great goal clearly answers the  question~ “why am I doing this”?
  • T = Timeline:  A goal without a timeline is just a dream.  A timeline, with milestones and an end date, will keep you accountable to yourself (and also if you choose, a friend or mentor, or coach, can help keep you accountable and focused).  i.e. “Break your goal into small tasks and set a deadline for each task.  It’s not so overwhelming when you do it in small steps.”(Maureen Zappala, “New Year, New Tune”)

My goal is to create and offer a Parent Facilitation Course based on the Living Values Education program by my birthday, May 17th.  I realize that besides the “planning and studying stage” of this goal, I must also plant seeds to create an outreach plan for targeting the audience I wish to attract to this course designed to assist parents and their children with hope and enthusiasm, as well as practical life skills that are often overlooked.

I started this project, about a month ago, than set it aside as other priorites started bubbling up, unexpectedly, only to then fizzle out.  I can’t let this project fizzle out, because this is something I have control over, as long as I follow my own inner and outer action plans,  I won’t have to wait for someone else to give me the okay.  I just have to say “OKAY” to  myself, every day and get on with a concentrated fermentation process to create constant sparkle and fizz, using probiotics for emerging the inner resources which will affect and shape the outer.  In this case, to make Kauai, a happier place for parents and children.

As a very successful dear friend said to me this week, “I don’t believe in LUCK.  I’ve worked hard and paid my dues, it hasn’t been a matter of luck.”  She has found that others look at her and what she’s done and say ‘Oh, you’re so lucky’.  This is actually discounting all the hours of planning, implementing, and achieving that has made her into a smiling success story!!!  This is the behind the scenes work that every successful person stokes them self up to do.

So please don’t wish me “Good Luck” because it’s going to take a lot more than a stroke of good luck; its going to take what most of us would call determination!

I am determined to write down my goals, create an action plan, build in accountability, and stay committed to its completion and implementation!!!  What I say to myself is GO TEAM~for it is definitely a matter of mobilizing all aspects of my inner and outer worlds and to take loving dominion over my thoughts and actions and yes, words too. This is my goal during this powerful time of resurrection.

This is my determination set down in writing on this significant day of power!  All the rest will be going on behind the scenes, until the unveiling takes place in the month of my rebirth on May 17th!

 

 

 

 

The Downpour of Divine Love

Has your Heart ALigned with the Heart of the Universe?

Shivalaya

man with heart

The downpour of divine love that quickens the heart makes it like an ocean, makes it begin to vibrate, begin to live, to gush forth with energy and life, to unleash tidal waves of spiritual emotion, embracing all beings.

Knock against the walls of shell so that the whole power of your heart streams forth flooding the universe.

Find accomodation in all those hearts that you have touched upon, who have become part of your being~ forevermore.

Think of all those whose hearts you have quickened, embrace them with your being.

Experience it as the tidal wave of Divine Love passing through you, embracing all beings.

Glistening, scintillating~ the efflugence behind all creatures, behind all phenomena, the light in the heart of those  you have touched, whose light you enhance by your love.

See if you can get an answer to your heart’s greatest longing by knocking upon the door…

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You Teach Best~What You Most Wish to Learn

Love this Photo of my favorite place to stroll!!! Hanalei Bay~

Shivalaya

Hanalei BayAloha to All who have ever read any of my blog posts~Thank you for having the interest in the topics that I write about.  There is a very true saying that ” we teach best, what we have to learn the most!”   I’m learning so much as I write and I really appreciate that you may be finding truth and relevance, as well, from what I’m sharing.  It’s really a win-win, isn’t it?

You have given me the encouragement and zeal to keep on writing!  A dear friend of mine, helped me publish a short book called : 5 Questions That Can Turn Your Life Around.  It is out on Amazon.com and can be purchased on a Kindle or as an e-book  for $2.99 or if you are on their Kindle Program you can read it for free!!!  It is short… 7 pages!!!  Very doable.  I’m planning to…

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You Teach Best~What You Most Wish to Learn

 

 

Hanalei BayAloha to All who have ever read any of my blog posts~Thank you for having the interest in the topics that I write about.  There is a very true saying that ” we teach best, what we have to learn the most!”   I’m learning so much as I write and I really appreciate that you may be finding truth and relevance, as well, from what I’m sharing.  It’s really a win-win, isn’t it?

You have given me the encouragement and zeal to keep on writing!  A dear friend of mine, helped me publish a short book called : 5 Questions That Can Turn Your Life Around.  It is out on Amazon.com and can be purchased on a Kindle or as an e-book  for $2.99 or if you are on their Kindle Program you can read it for free!!!  It is short… 7 pages!!!  Very doable.  I’m planning to put it on sale for $.99 ( yes, 99 CENTS) very soon, so anyone who wishes to have a copy will have a chance to read it!

This month of March you are in good company with others who have ventured over to this blog called:  Shivalaya, The Return Journey, Home.  There have been 48 souls from the U.S., 28 from Malaysia, 15 from the U.K., 10 from India, 3 from Australia, and 1 each from Denmark, Turkey, Argentina, and Canada!  An International group, for sure~which tells me that what I’m moving through and writing about is not only relevant to me in the remotest place on earth, at the top of the Hawaiian Island chain, but that souls all over the planet can relate!

This is very encouraging, for we are all waking up together!!!

Writing, studying, meditating, and teaching are all passions of mine!  So far, I have not “charged” for any of the things I teach and share, but am reaching a point that I wish to support myself by doing what matters most to me and a slew of other awakening souls.

I’m in the midst of  writing a second book which I plan to publish this summer!   Also starting to take the “baby steps” to put the word out to the parents on the island of Kauai that I will be facilitating “Parent Night Classes” that will be chock full of tools, solutions, games, and even videos to help them have an  even more successful and loving journey with their children as they navigate the currents of the swiftly moving scenes of life with tots, toddlers, and teens.

Thank you so much for joining me here on this blog and on Facebook.  You are Great company!  I’d love to hear from you, even a sweet hello or “aloha” as we say in Hawaii!

Your comments are always appreciated!

With Peace and Big Love,

Shivalaya

p.s.  Just started a new FaceBook page called: Collected Wisdom for Parenting with Love and Respect~come on over for a visit!!!   On this page, for those visiting Kauai and, of course, for those who live here~I’m offering various kinds of “self-care” body work, not just for parents, but for everyone!  This is another facet of my many years of  experience on earth~the ability to touch, shift, and sooth the muscles and energy of the human body, mind, spirit!  I have been helping souls to relax and heal for over 35 years!  I have been so blessed to have so much to share with others.

Active Listening~How to Create It

This SKILL can be learned…Learn the magic of active listening and wave your magic wand to create deeper more loving and understanding relationships!

Shivalaya

peacock

Did you know the Hindi word for soul is atma.  Very close to the root of the word atmosphere.  A possible meaning of atmosphere could include the sphere  of energy emanating from or around a soul; the domain of the soul, “the sphere of the soul”.

As souls walking around in soul consciousness, we become very powerful and can create and uplift the atmospheres of our homes, our workplaces, our schools, and even when intentionally directed, our world!

In addition to that, when we consciously learn and practice certain tools of communication, our chances for creating harmony and happiness is multiplied!  One wonderful tool that anyone can use, anywhere, anytime  is aptly called: “active listening”.

Hmmm you might be thinking, what makes listening active vrs. passive?  Be careful about reading into the active aspect of what active listening actually entails.  Think about a time when you were really…

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Spring Clarity on Soul Consciousness: Your Total Game Depends on Thought

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Last night, after World Peace Meditation, before sleep, I opened to these words of the Beloved.  I felt to share them, in love, with the three of you as an affirmation of who we truly are!  Many blessings on your week.  It is a true delight when the “stars of success” join together in a task!  I look forward to and cherish the moments we share together with the Beloved.  May He be your Constant Companion and may you be a “destroyer of obstacles” for yourself and others!

“When a powerful thought is created, then the world becomes elevated!  As is the thought, so is the world.  The total game depends on thought. Create the thought of happiness and at that moment there will be the experience of an atomosphere of happiness.  Create a thought of sorrow, and even if the atmosphere is of happiness yet the soul will experience it to be an atomsphere of sorrow and there will not be the experience of happiness.  It is in your own hands to create the atmosphere, to create the world.  Create determined thought and the obstacle will disappear like magic.  If there is the thought “I don’t know if it will happen or not”, then the mantara cannot work.  Constantly remember that you are the souls who are the destroyers of obstacles…Become the one who changes that which is difficult into that which is easy for all others.

Who are the souls who are truly the destroyers of obstacles?  Is it only Ganesh, son of Shiva, who can be called the destroyer of obstacles?   Claim the right to be a destroyer of obstacles by always having this consciousness: “I am the destroyer of obstacles”.  It is this thought that will finish all obstacles, because it is the thought that creates the form.  If there is an obstacle and you say “this is the obstacle”, you become the form of the obstacle because weak thoughts create a weak world.  If one thought is weak, then innumberable other thoughts follow which are also weak.  Just one thought of why or what brings forth a long queue of whys and whats…When you create such thoughts of your own as,”I don’t know whether its possible or not”, then you become trapped by this weak thought…If a task is taken up with happiness, there cannot be any obstacles during that time.  Keep yourself busy with great happiness in the task.  If you keep busy then maya cannot come….You are the stars who sparkle with constant success.  Do you always remember this?…You, yourselves have become the stars of success.”

 Words from a Murli given on December 29, 1983